It's been a very long academic year, ladies and gentlemen, but it's finally over. And with its conclusion comes a year of experience and wisdom. Therefore, in addition to the original list, we now endorse the following:
Spreading
Chicks who burn bras for womens' rights so you can see their nipples
Blackzilla's dick
Steak and Shake
Ted Ginn Jr. getting drafted over Brady Quinn
Fruit Rollups as condolence gifts
"Juice" as a proper noun
Changing skin color on demand
Nappy dugouts
Drawing genitals on paper place mats at family resturaunts
"Or the Bozack / What's that? / Dick and Nut Sack!"
Stephen Hawking in space
A Tribe Called Quest
That picture of the staircase that goes everywhere
Nintendo Wii
M. C. Escher
Scratching a master record
Super Paper Mario
Collecting giant toiletries such as toothpaste and/or floss
Using a tampon to fix the leak in your boat
Whoever said the quote, "For the most part, death is at the end of peoples' lives"
Albert Einstein's tongue
Cute hair
Chris Tucker's pubes
The Cosbys
"Shut the fuck up, Chaales!"
Asian Americans who provide a public service such as painting Brianne's toenails
Sand castles that are so big and intricate that little children can live inside them
Steve Irwin not being able to do a hard reset on his console
Nintendo Baseball (1984)
Original Tecmo Bowl
Moats filled with orange soda
Receiving the statue of liberty as a gift via a torrent compressed with loads of pr0n viruses so that it has to keep re-downloading itself
Peta-files
The word "petabyte"
Sick piano samples as used by Tom York
Ridiculously hard Pro Tools certification exams
MIDI files
Downloading the entire Internet onto a giant Apple ][ floppy disk
Miss Mary Mack
Double Dutch Door Action
Star of David Blaine: Street Magic
Ernest Goes To Concentration Camp
Not going to France
Peanut Butter Nut Cups
Cats that walk on the ceiling because they don't give a shit
Just sitting around, literally making gold
Stalkers
Perverted Justice dot Com
Pretending to be a 14-year-old girl in a public chat room
Being able to recite every enemy in Super Punch Out, in order, do their sound effect, and their accent
The Fucking Champs
Women in Thailand have an extra vagina
Pillow Pants and Lister Fiend
The Adventures of Pete and Pete
Bottoming out your subwoofer, because.
Salute Your Shorts
Balloon Animals
Meatspin
Smash TV
Putting your legs behind your head and rolling around so you squash your nuts (men) or get an orgasm (women)
Shitting in the toilet tank
Jamie Lee Curtis being born a man
Unopened Sega Saturns
Thong sandals without straps
Walking up behind a clown on stilts and tossing his salad
Fat people in tube tops
Sex with furniture
"Ah ha... ROAD MAPS!!!"
Generic asprin
Rodney King
Steve Nash as a Botox alternative
Opening a condom wrapper but it's chicken bullion inside
Misleading loading screens
Having to guess your own birthday
Taking a picture of your ball sack from so close that nobody can tell what it is
Taking giant dumps that don't conform to your body size
Quitting World of Warcraft
Yelling at blind kids
Pretending you're blind so you can use a giant walking stick that's so long that it stretches across the street so you're pole-valuting everywhere.
Compulsive lying
The "Sosumi" alert sound
Cutting the grass with a pair of scissors
Ray Charles hopscotching
Taking credit for stuff you didn't do
The Master/Slave computer interface
Looking at the code for Stephen Hawking's dick
Playing Rad Racer for the NES with the Power Glove
Justified paranoia
Meta-lesbians
Tribadism
Bases-empty grand slams
Misusing the word "irony"
Shoulder carpet
Licking batteries
Perverted shadows that "jerk"
Making extremely vulgar and lewd faces at children while they ride by in a stroller... so gross, in fact, that the child starts crying to the point that the parent has to stop the stroller and beat their child out of sheer disbelief.'
"Chewing"
Pnuematically-actived nouns
Buying an extremely old and shitty piece of real estate for the simple fact that it's loaded with trap doors, secret rooms, and skylights (that, coninsidentally, don't look into the sky)
Being the only person that doesn't fly off of the Earth when it comes to a complete stop in orbit
Sucking my dick
Conjouring any variation of "yeast"
Juxtaposing my dick with any child's face
NOT flushing toilets, no matter how full they get
Passing kidney stones out of a shrunken urethra that are shaped like bar furnature
Any face that creates the simulation of a "round" letter
Interchanging the words "maize" and "maze"
Making sure everyone knows the exact measurements to your genitals
Not knowing what plane you're on in McKids
Changing stop lights while you're sitting at them to three colors that don't correspond to the original stop light
Collecting facial/pubic hair in order to use it to stuff pillows
Turning a bassoon into a bong
Playing a guitar that only has one string but it has an extremely expansive resumé of notes and tones
Never changing your underwear OR wiping
Misusing "accents" over letters
Thirty-two levels of "undo"
Every bit of dialogue in the movie "Closer"
Strippers with stretch marks
Cellulite on your dick
Downloading every nude mod for The Sims 2
Iggy Pop masturbating on stage
People who use Febreeze as a shower
Accidentally mixing bleach and ammonia
Pulling on Johnny's chode
Putting a warp hole in front of your anus and then getting ass fucked so that you don't feel a thing because the dick warps across town and comes out of a chair at your old high school and violates your P.E. teacher instead
Honestly believing the world is flat
Likening the uterus to the head of a deer
Pan flute solos
Statuesque Rape
Being the sperm that makes it
Knowing the difference between "former" and "latter"
Not getting raped no matter how hard you try
Phallic euphamisms
Jiggaboo Jones
Getting away with racist statements because you're quoting
Not letting pages load because you like seeing empty boxes and question marks everywhere
Pretending you aren't good at Super Mario World and then magically beating Iggy Koopa in less than three seconds
A giant dick floating 40 feet in the air in a publc park