Rejected by Capcom

The Mega Man Boss Names that never made it

by Joey and Johnny and Brianne

with intro by Johnny
3/29/07

I'm sure everyone remembers Mega Man: that little blue freak who ran around and sodomized other Man creatures, absorbing their souls. The names started out simply enough: Fire Man, Ice Man, and Cut Man. Also notorious was Elec man, who was originally "Elecrtic Man," but fell victim to Japan's obsession with keeping everything small.

As the series grew outward, the names became more sophisticated: Dust Man, Pharoh Man, Napalm Man, and even Yamato Man.

As Capcom entered the 90's, they decided to stop alienating the female audience. Beginning with Mega Man X, Capcom developed a new strategy for developing bosses:

Bingo. You now have ingenius names such as "Flame Mammoth," "Crystal Snail," and "Overdrive Ostrich." For later games, switch out the "animal names" bag with a bag of words that have absolutely no meaning: "Rainy Turtloid," "Infinity Mijinion," and "Blaze Heatnix."

Butt2Face authors have recently uncovered the rejected boss list that Capcom has fought to keep secret:

"X" Series Boss Names

This is the first Butt2Face update in six months. It's not that we don't care—we're just really busy with this college thing. We haven't been fellating each other, however. We have, in fact, been creating new content.

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Email Johnny at cyberpants@gmail.com