In the political world, there aren't too many people more vile and disliked then now famous Linda Tripp. Honestly, this piece of garbage is right up there with the likes of Adolf Hitler, Andrew "The Indian Killer" Johnson, and Pol Pot. The general consensus in the political world is that a politician would rather have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Lupus, Leprosy, eleven Hemorrhoids, and pass a throng of kidney stones out his dick hole through an enlarged prostate all at once than to acknowledge Tripp's existence.
Tripp was a White House employee during the George H.W. Bush administration and also at the beginning of the eight-year Clinton run. People realized how much they truly hate this ghastly pile of scat, so in 1994, Senior White House aides decided to move her to a public affairs job in the Pentagon. Good riddance.
Tripp was not known for her 'legal' involvement in politics, but rather her high public recognition can be attributed to her role in the Lewinsky/Clinton scandal in 1998 and 1999. This piece of shit pretended to "buddy up" with Monica Lewinsky, also a former Pentagon employee. Lewinsky would eventually reveal to Tripp her physical relationship with then-President Clinton. Thanks to the excellent advice of Lucianne Goldberg, another turd scraping of a woman, Tripp began to secretly (and illegally, mind you) record their phone conversations, in which Lewinsky would reveal all the juicy details about the sexual encounters.
After mustering up quite a bit of evidence against Lewinsky, Tripp gave the tapes to Kenneth Starr, a babbling pile regurgitated ass in his own right, in exchange for immunity in any upcoming endeavors. I think we all know what happened after that. Clinton was impeached by the House of Representatives, but he wasn't voted out of office by the Senate (thank God.)
Wow, Linda, what a friend you are. Illegally tapping telephones in order to blackmail a so-called "friend." I don't think I can imagine too many things that are lower than that. This further distances you as one of the most despicable pieces of taint dandruff in the history of the Universe. Seriously, why not have another upstanding Republican like yourself drop a 30-pound sledgehammer on your uterus and get it over with. Nobody wants you procreating, or living, for that matter.
So, in honor of Linda Tripp, Butt2Face has decided to start handing out the "Linda Tripp Friend of the Week Award." Johnny and myself will decide each week on an individual, group, or something along those lines that comes close to replicating the debauchery, sinuous attitude, and lack of human decency that Tripp has portrayed during her sad existence on this planet.
I think the innagural award is more than obvious. The first ever "Linda Tripp Friend of the Week" award goes to Sponge! Just in case you need any justification, you can check out the Sponge portion of the website here.
Personally, I didn't attend the party that housed the "Johnny vs. Sponge" verbal tirade, and with good reason. I hate Sponge. Actually, I don't just hate Sponge—I loathe Sponge. A few weeks ago, God came down from the Heavens and said, "Joey, I'll give you the choice of making out with a horse erection, or having to listen to Sponge talk for 30 seconds." I chose the former.
Thanks to my super stealth Ninjitsu powers, I actually followed Sponge around for several days, attempting to get the perfect picture that will show everyone how gangsta' he is. Now, the following picture might frighten some, because he's so hardcore thug G-life homielicious that some B2F patrons might actually go into convulsions and piss plasma for weeks to come. Seriously, he was raised on the thug streets of a suburban central Indiana city (49 people are gunned down every few minutes.) Again, this picture is straight gangsta'…
I'm sure the Layman notices several things about this photo:
If you happen to see Sponge, and I mean ever. Run away. He'll kill you. I, for one, saw him stare at a brick wall for about twenty minutes, and the entire thing disintegrated into the cherry flavored dust inside the world's largest Pixie stick. His arms/eyes/Enyce shirt/face/voice are deadly weapons. Hopefully the Indiana state government will make him start carrying a permit for him to exist. For God's sake, the man is lethal.
Email Johnny at cyberpants@gmail.com